Reasons why I should not speak in church meetings!

So, a few weeks ago we were asked to speak in Sacrament. The topic given was the Holy Ghost, easy enough. William tried very hard to talk his way out of the event, but I, not wanting to dissapoint anyone, told him to just suck it up and do it. We prepared for the talks over several days and I kept practicing my talk. Overall, I felt pretty confident. The night before, I was practicing in front of William and half way through the talk, my throat got all dry and I couldn't stop coughing. Oh great, perfect timing, I was getting sick or something. I woke up the next morning, and to my surprise I felt fine. No cough. No dry throat. Hallelulia! We arrived at the church about 15 minutes to the start of the meeting and as soon as we got there, dry throat set in. I think I went and got at least 4 drinks before the meeting. Things I remember learning form my college education finally kicked in, my body was totally in "fight or flight" mode and I was scared to death. So the time came for me to speak and the second I stood up to the podium, I started crying. I was a mess and pretty much cried through the whole thing. I got a lot of compliments afterwards, but I think they all just felt sorry for me.
Just two short weeks after this fiasco, I got a call from my niece asking me if I could speak at her baptism. I have to admit, I was not thrilled. I had already told her mother not to ask me, but she swears she forgot until it was already was too late. One might think that it was not a big deal because I was speaking on the same topic as two week prior. However I was more nervous. I knew how my body reacted the first time, and this time I was speaking in fornt of people I actually knew. I even went as far as to write a whole new talk. I got an idea for a visual aid from a friend and it seemed like a great idea. The demonstration included placing a coin in a closed container and shaking it. Easy enough, right? Wrong! I did it the night prior to make sure it worked correctly and it did. However, when I went to do the demonstration during my talk disaster happened. I put the coin in the glass container and went to pick it up and the bottom of the container broke. I was mortified. I felt like such an idiot. I went blank for a few seconds and thought, I will just explain what was supposed to happen. Then I decided I could do it my covering both ends of the container with my hands. Thanks, to my brillant husband, he mouthed to me to put the lid on one end and then cover the other end with my hand. Genious! Why didn't I think of that. Of coarse, afterwards people told me that I did well. They too just felt sorry for me. Moral of the story, I am not good at giving talks, I quit!